Comments on: The Silent Treatment http://www.nerdherding.net/2006/08/17/the-silent-treatment/ Working with nerds for fun and profit Wed, 23 Jul 2008 19:00:03 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5 By: Michael Harmer http://www.nerdherding.net/2006/08/17/the-silent-treatment/#comment-32409 Michael Harmer Sat, 19 Aug 2006 00:37:59 +0000 http://www.nerdherding.net/2006/08/17/the-silent-treatment/#comment-32409 Iang - definately a win-lose technique. A pretty silly one since it allows someone to *perhaps* get some extra information at the likely expense of damaging a relationship. Being silent is a more risky approach than babbling - since it is a more obvious tit-for-tat retaliation. It is, however, also more likely to elicit (grudging) respect from the offendor. Iang - definately a win-lose technique. A pretty silly one since it allows someone to *perhaps* get some extra information at the likely expense of damaging a relationship.
Being silent is a more risky approach than babbling - since it is a more obvious tit-for-tat retaliation. It is, however, also more likely to elicit (grudging) respect from the offendor.

]]> By: Iang http://www.nerdherding.net/2006/08/17/the-silent-treatment/#comment-32407 Iang Fri, 18 Aug 2006 16:37:57 +0000 http://www.nerdherding.net/2006/08/17/the-silent-treatment/#comment-32407 'Silent treatment' is a recognised win-lose technique that is taught to people, although that might not be the name. I recall learning about it, the issue is that people under pressure and not aware of the technique will ramble in a panic and start revealing information. This works very well in a sales situation, but it hardly makes sense in a project settingbecause in general there isn't such a need to extract secret information, and it carries severe costs. As do all win-lose techniques, but this one is obvious. I can't recall the advised counter-tactic. If we think about it, the counter-tactic is mostly about knowing of its existance, we could do anything as long as we understand the game. Personally I'd wait a while -- play the game back again -- then pack my things and get up, saying, "let me know if you have any more questions." And walk out. But one has to do it non-aggressively, as that will hand the guy a weapon. ‘Silent treatment’ is a recognised win-lose technique that is taught to people, although that might not be the name. I recall learning about it, the issue is that people under pressure and not aware of the technique will ramble in a panic and start revealing information. This works very well in a sales situation, but it hardly makes sense in a project settingbecause in general there isn’t such a need to extract secret information, and it carries severe costs. As do all win-lose techniques, but this one is obvious.

I can’t recall the advised counter-tactic. If we think about it, the counter-tactic is mostly about knowing of its existance, we could do anything as long as we understand the game. Personally I’d wait a while — play the game back again — then pack my things and get up, saying, “let me know if you have any more questions.” And walk out. But one has to do it non-aggressively, as that will hand the guy a weapon.

]]> By: Michael Harmer http://www.nerdherding.net/2006/08/17/the-silent-treatment/#comment-32406 Michael Harmer Fri, 18 Aug 2006 06:40:22 +0000 http://www.nerdherding.net/2006/08/17/the-silent-treatment/#comment-32406 Jason - true, he could be thinking - it depends on whether or not social signals saying "received and preparing response" are emitted. If all that you are receiving are social signals saying "not finished, keep talking" then its probably a power game. I'm absolutely sure the times it happened to me that it was a power play since the normal conversational social signals weren't being sent. Jason - true, he could be thinking - it depends on whether or not social signals saying “received and preparing response” are emitted. If all that you are receiving are social signals saying “not finished, keep talking” then its probably a power game.

I’m absolutely sure the times it happened to me that it was a power play since the normal conversational social signals weren’t being sent.

]]> By: Jason Yip http://www.nerdherding.net/2006/08/17/the-silent-treatment/#comment-32403 Jason Yip Thu, 17 Aug 2006 14:16:09 +0000 http://www.nerdherding.net/2006/08/17/the-silent-treatment/#comment-32403 Maybe he's thinking? I'd probably go with 3. Ask him if he understood my answer. Maybe he’s thinking?

I’d probably go with 3. Ask him if he understood my answer.

]]>